at the crossroad again

I am yet again at a crossroad. Those who know me might say “Raine, you’re always at a crossroad”. That’s quite true especially when it comes to what I want to do with my life. I am thinking again of quitting my job and look for better opportunities. I don’t want to work anymore. It pains me to wake up early in the morning and go to work. I just want to wake up late. Surf the internet, download Heroes, Dexter and etc Go places, travel. Read books. Go out with my friends. I’m not a career oriented person and my dream in life is to be a plain housewife or be a nomad traveling from one place to another. But I’m not born with a golden spoon and actually have to work for a living. I’m seriously considering quitting my job and start my own business or maybe pursue an online career in blogging, online tutorials and etc. so I have full control of my time. There are a lot of possibilities yet I’m scared to make the big jump from being financially secure to the “unknown”. I believe that I have a promising business selling stuffs but I know I can’t rely on it full time. I can take it to the next level by having my own store but I’m afraid of borrowing capital coz I might not be able to pay it back. I know I am a wimp by not taking risks but I just want to be realistic. It’s really hard when you’re torn between what you want to do and what you are supposed to do, between your dreams and your responsibilities. I just fear (there’s that word again) that if I’ll continue on being a corporate slave I might wake up one day and wonder what happened to my life. I fear that I won’t be able to do what I want. But the irony is I can’t actually do what I want without doing what I don’t want to do. Great! I’m now talking in riddles. ...to be continued